Unhealthy mindsets that are keeping you stuck.
The Mindsets That Keep Us Stuck
Ladies, gather 'round! We're about to embark on a journey through the wild world of unhealthy mindsets that many of us hold in our health and fitness quests. These sneaky little thoughts are like that one friend who tells you, "Sure, you can totally pull off bangs!"—well-intentioned but often leading to regret.
Imagine trying to run a marathon while dragging a suitcase full of rocks. That's what it's like holding onto these mindsets. They weigh us down, keep us stuck, and stop us from getting the results we want. So, grab your metaphorical crowbars, because it's time to pry these mental boulders out of our brains and chuck them into the nearest dumpster.
Whether it's “shoulding” all over ourselves, thinking in absolutes, or aiming for all or nothing, these pesky thought patterns are doing us no favors. Ready to ditch the mental baggage and start seeing some real progress? Let’s dive into the mindsets that are holding us back and learn how to swap them out for ones that actually work. And hey, if we can laugh at ourselves along the way, all the better!
What is “Shoulding”?
“Should” – the word sounds harmless enough, right? But it's a sneaky little devil that often comes with a heavy dose of judgment and a sprinkle of guilt. When we use “should” statements, we're setting up rigid rules for ourselves and others. If those expectations aren’t met, we feel like we’ve failed. Classic examples include:
Must: “I must get it right.”
Should: “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
Ought to: “I ought to be doing more.”
Have to: “I have to eat better.”
The Downside of “Shoulding”
Regularly using “should” statements can make you:
Intolerant of imperfection or unfairness
Excessively demanding
Struggle with self-acceptance and self-compassion
Think in black-and-white terms
Questions to Ask Yourself
When you catch yourself “shoulding,” ask:
Am I doing this because I want to or because I should?
Why do I believe I should, and what do I fear will happen if I don’t?
If I had the choice, what would I choose to do?
All or Nothing Thinking
“All or nothing” thinking is like living in a world with only two colors: success and failure. You’re either perfect or terrible, at 100% or zero. There’s no in-between.
The Perfectionism Trap
This kind of thinking breeds perfectionism. It tells us that any mistake equals total failure, creating unattainable expectations and a cycle of self-criticism. It also fosters anxiety and depression by exaggerating failures and dismissing successes.
Combatting All or Nothing Thinking
Try “ALL OR SOMETHING” thinking instead. It’s about finding the middle ground. Set upper and lower limits to give yourself some grace and flexibility. For example:
Upper Limit: Train 5 times a week.
Lower Limit: Train 2 times a week.
Even if you can’t hit your upper limit, doing something is better than nothing!
Absolute Thinking
Absolute thinking is the evil twin of “all or nothing” thinking. It’s when you use final, unchangeable terms like “always” and “never.” For example, “I NEVER get the results I want,” or “I ALWAYS fail.”
Combatting Absolute Thinking
Ask yourself:
Is there any evidence that this isn’t true ALL THE TIME?
Can I see another possibility?
Discounting the Positive
This is when you ignore, downplay, or dismiss positive actions or achievements, leading to a negative perception of yourself.
How it Shows Up
Ignoring positive feedback: When someone praises you, you only focus on the negatives.
Dismissing compliments: When someone compliments your hard work, you say, “Yes, but I still need to work harder on this area.”
Minimizing achievements: “I’ve only lost 2kg, not 5kg.”
Combatting Discounting the Positive
At the end of each week, write down everything you accomplished, achieved, or are proud of. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
Stop “shoulding” all over yourself. Embrace the shades of grey between all or nothing. Challenge absolute thinking. And for goodness’ sake, give yourself credit where it’s due! Life is too short to be your own worst critic. Be kind to yourself – you deserve it.
